Coming To Terms
by AnchorsAweigh13
Summary: Bella is trying to come to terms with her past, will she crumble while doing so? Who sticks by her and who abandons her? A/H R


**Disclaimer: I do not own SM does. Yes even my sparkly God!**

"Bella, rise and shine, you have a visitor."

If I ignore her long enough maybe she will go away.

"Bella? Come on lazy bones, you know the rules." I could just picture our dear old Ms. Mertz, standing perched in the doorway with on hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow.

Ok so maybe I was wrong, but I wasn't in the mood to get up and see whoever it was that all of a sudden wanted to grace me with their presence.

She released a sigh before letting out a whisper "Alright, fine five minutes more but that's all I can do. You're pushing it." she stalked out of my room and closed the door behind her.

I willed myself for sleep to overtake me once more, doing my breathing exercises to calm myself.

When it felt like hours had passed and my breathing had just started to even out feeling the darkness overcome me, I was being pulled from it once more.

"Ok really now, its time to get up." She didn't give me time to answer before crossing my room and pulling open the blinds to let the sun streak through, blinding my sleepy eyes.

"Ugh." I moaned and heaved the blankets over my head. _Go the fuck away _is what I really wanted to say, but instead I just stuck to the simple "Fine, I'm up. You win."

She grinned, turned on her heels and once again walked out of the room.

Hmm if she thought I was up she most likely wouldn't check up on me for a little while. Maybe I can sneak a teeny tiny nap in.

Oh yes I liked the idea of that.

I lay back against the pillow throwing the covers over me once more, trying to relax sinking deeper into the pillow.

Again I had just started to doze off when some cleared their throat, scaring the shit out of me.

"Alright, alright, I'm up." I slowly peeled the covers away from my face, scared to see what I would find on the other side.

I huffed when I saw a set of wide eyes looking me over with a slight grin on her face.

"Christ Alice!" I clutched my chest trying to catch my breath. "You scared the shit out of me." I narrowed my eyes at her as if to tell her I was not amused.

"You do know if Mertz finds you still in bed she will shit a brick, right?" She cocked her head at me.

"Which is why she will never know, right?" I cocked my head back at her.

Her eyes glazed over and I knew she was lost in thought. "Alice!" I yelled, startling her out of her reverie.

"Hmm, sorry what was your question?"

"Don't give me an 'Hmm', you heard me."

She rolled her eyes and plopped down dramatically on my bed squishing my feet. "God Bella, calm yourself. Don't go getting your panties in a twist."

I grabbed the pillow and playfully thrust it at her pretty little head.

The look she gave me was priceless; I tried to stifle my laugh but ultimately failed erupting in laughter.

She surprised me buy snatching the pillow and clonking me back on the head, letting out a loud "HA"

She froze and brought her hand to cover her nose "oh and you might want to brush those stankayy teeth while you're at it." She became lost in another fit of giggles.

"Bite me." I chuckled sluggishly pulling myself out of bed, grabbing my toothbrush off of my dresser, and heading over to the bathroom.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I looked like hell. I had massive bed head, huge bags under my eyes and dark circles, I was freakishly pale and I looked skinnier than the last time I saw myself.

It brought a tiny smile to my lips seeing how far my hip bones protruded and how baggy my pants hung.

I shook my head to rid the thoughts while running my toothbrush under the water and bringing it up to my mouth.

I threw my hair into a messy bun, seeing as I had no one in particular to impress with my good looks.

I went back to my room to find an empty bed; I guess Alice found some other innocent victim to annoy.

I grabbed my hoodie and my chucks and took off towards the nurse's station. Ms. Mertz was sitting behind a computer adamantly typing away.

"You know you can get busted for slacking on the job if the big boss man comes down here." I leaned in the door way crossing my arms.

"Oh well look who has finally decided to grace us with her presence." She stood and crossed the room to stand in front of me.

"So is my mystery guest still around?" I popped an eyebrow anticipating her answer.

"Well since someone, I won't mention any names, was being stubborn and wouldn't get up I had to tell him to come back." She went to put a file away in the desk drawer

"Actually he just arrived; I was on my way to find you."

_Did she just say he?_ It could either be one of two _he's _that I know.

It could either be my drunk of a father, or my ex. And I wasn't looking forward to seeing either of them.

"He?"

"Yes, he." She repeated slowly with a nod of her head.

"And?" I motioned for her to continue.

She looked confused. "And, what?"

I was getting frustrated having her beat around the bush. "And who is he?"

She smiled to herself as if she was in on some kind of private joke. "Well I promised I wouldn't release that little tidbit." She slammed the drawer closed, "don't look at me like that. He wanted it to be a surprise."

I hadn't realized I was giving her any kind of look, but apparently I was. I straightened and sighed. "Well, let's get this show on the road shall we."

****

We walked down the hallway towards the visitor's area.

I had only been to this room a handful of times, not a lot of people liked to make the drive to visit me or they wanted to pretend that I wasn't sick and locked up like the nut job I was.

Well I wasn't really a nut job, I was actually pretty sane. I was just going through some heavy shit and my loser of a father thought it best to have someone keep an eye on me at all times.

She threw open the door and sitting there in all his glory was my ex. I was actually relieved that it wasn't my father.

I hadn't seen him since the day they dumped me here, and we decided it was best to just be friends. Well, actually, I decided…he thought differently. But what was done was done.

There was a part of him that still took my breath away, but the other part of me knew we were better as friends. He looked up and his eyes temporarily widened but he quickly masked it with a goofy grin.

I thanked Ms. Mertz and she closed the door behind me to give us some privacy. I slowly trudged over to the chair directly across from him. He slid his hand across the table and lightly traced circles on top of my hand. I smiled down at the gesture remembering how that would calm me every time.

He hadn't looked up yet and the awkward silence started to get annoying. "So, what brings on this visit?"

He finally looked up addressing me, "What? I cant come visit an old friend without there being a reason?" he asked feigning hurt.

"Oh I forgot, because you visit me on a weekly basis right?" I let the sarcasm flow freely.

"I guess I deserve that. But I'm here now aren't I?" He looked sad for reasons unknown to me.

"I suppose so." I said when a thought occurred to me. "Wait, did my dad send you?"

His eyes darkened a moment. "Bella, you know I despise that man."

"Not always. I do recall a time when you were a kiss ass." I smiled and so did he.

"I hate what he did to you Bells. I can honestly kill him." His eyes darkened again and he clenched his hands into fists.

I pulled my hand out of his and crawled across the table; I swung my legs around so that I was straddling him and slowly lowered myself on top of him. He moved to place his hands on my hips holding me there while staring intently in my eyes.

"God Bells you don't know how much I've missed you." I could tell he was in pain, and that he thought he failed me because I was stuck in here instead of being out in the real world.

"Shh Emmett look at me." I waited until he lifted his head to look at me, and when he did I continued. "None of this is any of your fault. I did this to myself. This was something I had control over and I didn't make a very good decision."

"You wouldn't be in here if it wasn't for that bastard." He slammed his fist down on the table making me jump. "If it's anybody's fault it's his. He tormented you for years after your mom died."

I placed my hands on his face, keeping my eyes on his while dipping my head down to meet his lips. It was a soft kiss, like our lips were getting reacquainted, moving in unison with his. He moved one hand to hold the back of my neck while the other one found leverage on the small of my back holding me closer to him.

I moaned into his mouth while my hands snaked into his hair, he tongue slipped out tracing my bottom lip waiting for permission from me to enter. I teased him by slightly parting my lips; he shocked me by biting on my lower lip. I deepened the moan and he chuckled against my mouth.

It had been a while since I had been with anyone, and my body was crying out for him in more ways than one. He was my safe haven, knowing I could go to him for anything and everything, and I knew he would listen without judging.

He knew I came from a messed up family and he still stuck by me. My mom died when I was eleven and my dad soon turned to drinking. I can remember taking care of her when she got sick and knowing she wouldn't make it, no matter how hard I prayed that she would get well.

She used to tell me that everything happens for a reason. Well, I would certainly like to know what the reason was for her being taken from me and my family being ripped apart.

I knew what I wanted right then and there, and I knew I was being selfish for wanting it but I knew he wanted it to, I could tell from the growing stiffness under me. I pulled back and raised an eyebrow. His goofy grin returned and I crashed my lips to his once more.

His hands traveled to the zipper of my hoodie and swiftly removed it leaving me in my white tank top; I blushed feeling exposed and very vulnerable. He placed his lips at my jaw and trailed kisses down my neck gently nibbling on my collar bone.

I ran my hands over his broad shoulders and down to his biceps mentally remembering what it felt like to hold him. My hands blindly moved to his chest, feeling the definition. My fingertips played with the hem of his shirt until finally bringing it up above his head.

My right hand brushed over the tattoo on his chest that he got when things were still good, it was of an anchor with a heart in the middle. He was my anchor keeping me grounded until things went downhill. I had the same tattoo tucked behind my right ear.

My lips pressed over the tattoo trailing up to the space between his neck and shoulder, letting my head rest on him. He held me there, rubbing my back and my hair, letting me know everything was going to be alright.

I never let myself get super close to people; I think that was my main reasoning for wanting to just stay friends with him. The truth was I was terrified of getting hurt; I was terrified of losing someone else. Could I really be letting myself fall for him all over again?


End file.
